Dear 23 me

 

Depending on where you are, and when you read this, it's almost my 23rd birthday, and because I always do something, I picked someone's mind to tell us how it was like being 23, So, much like 21(go read it), he wrote a letter to his 23 year old self. 

Okay, well, technically, he voice noted what he wants to say (because he is famous and doesn't have too much time for us peasants) and I flowered it up kidogo.

Hey Black king,

You probably won't finish this till the end. We had no time back then (I guess that's your now). You don't have time to waste on my sub par writing. You are probably off in Turkana or somewhere doing good for the  world. If I have my timeline correctly.

 I promise though that if you stick around, this, will be worth your while. You just graduated too.

I know you are still riding that high, hoping you get a job straight away because you're in software, and you're good at what you do. who wouldn't want you, right?

Wrong. Turns out, Many people, many people don't want you. 

You will search and search for things to do that give you money and you will do a ton of free things. You will, because you aren't jaded yet. You don't even know what to charge yet, but you will soon.

Because something will convince you you are ready to move out. That is the devil. I would tell you not to listen to him, but the act of moving out will remove the safety net on the tight rope you're walking on, and it will force you to grow up. And looking for money will become a serious priority.

You will run out of gas in the middle of the night after working long unpaid hours and you will feel like crying, Because all you want is tea. Just tea. But you won't cry, because even if the word hasn't been invented yet, you have toxic masculinity.

You will like a girl, and you will think and almost blurt it out severally, that you want to marry this girl. 

She will feel like the sun. She will make you laugh and give you goosebumps.

Her art work will speak secrets to your soul and you will smile every time you think of her. Even on the hard days when she picks a fight or you messed up, you will never even think of anyone else.

She will be good to you and you will write a song for her, but you'll keep it to yourself, because she is fiery and independent and you don't want to scare her off. So you'll keep it to yourself. Which is good because she will Break. Your. Heart.

You think Kim back when we were 17 was bad? This is like being caressed  by hot knives. On your face. While you're trying to act macho about it.

You will learn there is nothing macho about heart break. It will leave you like a blubbering fool, a hollow version of yourself that smiles at jokes that used to have you on the floor. 

But this too shall pass, and at the end of your 23rd year, you will start to pick up the pieces of your experiences.

You will learn how to enjoy small things, like matatu rides with touts that don't want to keep your change.

You will find out its expensive to eat your favorite things. and you will embark on a love-hate relationship with indomie.

You will learn that drinking solves nothing, and friends won't always understand but the best ones will try.

You'll hear your father's advice long after you move out. And you should listen to that voice. Even when it tells you to be better. Even when it tells you to let things go.

And you'll be fine. You will. 

You'll be mugged in tao once, and develop an aversion to that area. 

But I digress, You  will be fine. Promise. 

Heyo, what was it like at 23? Or what do you think it would be like? In One statement.

Photo by Favor Anyula.