The big days
Yesterday was interesting. I don't know why people are so into it these days. Valentine's I mean. People were dressed in red, couples holding hands on the roads, a couple literally stopped traffic because they were kissing in the middle of the road, and on any other day, they would have been physically removed by drivers trying to get somewhere.
But yesterday, when the first car got to them, the guy driving saw them and laughed, like the laugh you give when a cute baby gives you a funny look. Then gave them the most polite honk I've ever heard. At the mall I went to, guys were running around like chicken with their heads cut off, trying to get good gifts for their "peoples''. I was at Miniso buying a water bottle when one man stopped me,
"Yeah, sure." I tell him. He's tall and corporate looking with a gap in between his front teeth. And he's holding a hand bag on each hand. And below him, is another hand bag in a basket.
"Umm, I'm trying to get a gift for my wife and umm, I don't know which one to get her. Which one do you think I should get?" He asks me.
I smother a laugh because I'm literally the last to give any advice on hand bags. But I gather my inner woman and get ready to help.
"Well, it depends... Is your wife a girly girl?"
He looks at me like I asked him if he eats with his feet.
"Does she like a lot of dresses and flowers and wears heels, make up all that?" I clarify and he nods.
"Do you know her favourite colour?" I ask him, knowing very well guys are usually clueless about such things.
" Yes," he says confidently "she likes yellow." He says it like she just told him yesterday. Maybe she did. Also, none of the handbags he's holding are yellow.
I help him, well as much as I can. Eventually he's left debating between one with a zip but is smaller and a bigger one that doesn't have a zip. His friend comes, and I can tell he's also tired of deciding. He tells me they'd been here for an hour deciding.
"Man, shopping kumbe is this hard? That's why you guys spend hours."
I laugh and he asks what I got for valentine's and if it's hard to shop for me.
" Well it's not hard. But I'm sure everyone thinks so, I'm an artsy type so any drawing and art stuff or notebooks are usually appreciated."
After I help him with his wife's gift, (she loves orange) he checks how much the bags cost. They realize they could buy two each so they do, and say a big thank you. I laugh as I walk on, and bump into another guy looking lost.
"Excuse me, could I ask you a quick question?" (He's standing on the teddy bear isle.)
After helping him, I ask him
"Are men really this clueless when it comes to gifts?"
"No," he says, " well yes, but it's because for guys, it's easier to make us happy. We literally have like five gifts we like. Watches, shoes, shirts, ties and bags. Girls, could literally want anything."
He widens his eyes when he says 'anything' and I laugh. Could this be a market gap? Helping men pick gifts for their significant others? Anyway, to all the ladies whose men I helped out there, you're welcome. (Or, I'm sorry if you didn't like the gift.)
I met up with an old contact too, one I was meant to interview a while ago. I ask her how her day was going and she tells me she's been busy shopping for her daughter's birthday the next day. (Well, today..) She unlocks her phone to show me her kid's photo. She shows me a girl with two upper teeth missing seated like a bawse on a swing. Don't ask me to explain what bawses look like sitting on swings, it's something you'd have to see for yourself. She was cute. And I sighed in relief because I didn't have to lie. And I've been trying to stop lying. You know those people who put on fake smiles and tell you,
"Wooow, she looks like such a special child." Just because they don't think a kid looks cute?
Well, this kid was so cute I did something most people don't like, I swiped to the next picture and she was lying on grass looking like one of those happy kids on magazines and Pinterest. I ask Stacy (that's the mum's name) if she has plans for today and she says the one person who she'd do these 'love day things' with isn't around anymore.
And that's when I see, past the tiredness of the day, a certain sadness, a weariness she carries like baggage in her eyes. And she must see something in my eyes because she says,
"Please, don't feel sorry for me," she shakes me a little ." I'm okay, I'm healthy, my baby is doing amazing, and we're okay. I'm sure if my hubby was still around he wouldn't buy into this whole valentine's nonsense anyway. When he was alive, he came through on the big days." She shrugs. " Plus I always love everyday. I don't need a love day."
I sigh as I think of all the people trying to cram something that's bigger than a day into a few hours worth of activities, and calling it love. She tells me she'll see me around and I wave and walk on, as I watch people talking and smiling to strangers, and to people they know, it hits me. This day means such different things to different people. And it doesn't mean much to me but for someone else this day is a big day. Perspective.
Moral of the story. Speak things out into the universe and you'll get them because I told a random stranger about art things and about an hour later, that's what I got. So cool.
Also as always, if you wanna share your story with us email us at manamanamusings@gmail.com. We love y'all.
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