Dear 2019

Hi 2019,  I know we're a few days in but I just wanna say, 2018 felt like it would never end. It seemed like it had 50 days in a month. And man did it have great stuff, like Black Panther and Baby shark, new starts, risks that paid off, beautiful challenges and crazy fun. I ate crocodile meat, that's how I know it was an interesting year.

I started a blog and it got recognized in the newspaper. I made friends, started school, went camping and took more hikes than any other year. I grew fat then thin then settled somewhere in between. I had worked on parts of me that were messy and uncool, now I'm all cool beans, okay, mostly cool beans. I ate so much ice-cream, got Trevor (my phone) as a gift, talked to strangers. I did so much I didn't expect to.

Then I met you (2019) around family and friends and a fire that had just been lit. We sang,praye,talked,danced and drank tea. Two hours after meeting you I took a drive (me being driven) and came back to find everyone else asleep. After coaxing a dying fire, and while listening to weird country  music, I began to introspect on the past year.

 I think of all the years, this one had more sadness, I went through a journey I couldn't believe. I've experienced more pain, seen people I could have done more for just give up. I've had my trust broken, had the overwhelming urge to disengage and felt so many small hurts that accumulated to a giant snowball of weight that seemed too hard to bear. And just when I was down things started looking up and I caught up to the events of life and now I'm here talking to you. And I have a few questions if you don't mind.

Like how many albums will be released this year? And how will that last Avengers Endgame "end up''? Should I save my money or go watch it on IMAX? Because I won't if Iron man dies, we've both seen the trailers. Will African writers write more books than before? How many scandals will Kenyans have to live through? Will we finally pay back the debt we owe to China? Am I going to travel more? What will be the happiest time? My saddest? Will there be major changes?

I have some personal questions too, like, will I be a better person at the end of this? Will the good days be more than the bad ones? I hope so, and if not, will the bad days all add up to something? Will my experience this year refine me? Educate my decisions? Will I be able to share my story more? Will I get to do a few things that were on my bucket list? Will I discover the secrets of the universe? Will I become a better texter?

And lastly I have questions about the people I will meet. Will they be cool? Will I be a sanctuary for them? That they would feel a strange peace and share their stories with me. Will they see something other than my coloured hair and brown (probably unoiled) skin? Will they improve me or impair my process? Will I improve them?

I get that you probably won't answer these questions. Sorry about them by the way. I think for me, asking was less about the answers and more about the questioning process. And right around this time would be the time people make resolutions and promises to themselves so I'll make one. I'll enjoy the moments. And I'm looking forward to that journey.
 Lets do this!


Thank you guys for sticking to this year. Allow me to ask you to plunge in with me to this "our world'' of people with wide eyed wonder, open minds and feeling hearts. (And a bit of inconsistency on my part, I'm a work in progress.)
If nobody has told you today, let me be the first to tell you, you're awesome.







Photo from Mugoya Mokua.