Clarity

I've always wondered if sometimes, people can go through a moment and in an instant of clarity, realise that this one moment will change the tangent of their lives. I've wondered if you can meet someone and know for a fact that they will change you, or influence the change in you, either for better or worse.

Seth met her in a wedding, much like one I attended this weekend. He was stressed because he thought he lost the key to his car and all the gifts were waiting to be transported.

He was young, 23, and excited about most things. That day, he was excited that his cousin was getting married and that they actually put him in charge of gifts. 

Bending to check the ground around him more closely, he didn't notice the girl stepping up to him holding keys in her hand. He startled when she tapped him on his back, I'm picturing that she debated over how to get the bending man's attention before tapping him, then Seth righted his blazer which had hitched up as he saw, in his words, the most beautiful set of eyes ever placed on a woman's face.

One thing you should probably know about Seth, he has a melodic voice. His tone is so rich it probably has mansions filled with precious jewels.

Picture if a saxophone and some honey had a baby. And not the honey we buy off streets that's probably sugar that was melted or something. His best quality, and according to him, his voice was his greatest asset because otherwise he was just a tall lanky young guy who didn't know much.

Anyway, back to the girl. She looked at him with a tired expression and asked him if those keys were what he was looking for. To which he said yes. She handed them to him and stalked off, faster than he thought a girl would in a dress and heels.

 He tried to follow her asking if she was part of the organisers. To which she said yes, and he said he needed help finding directions to where the gifts were being taken because he didn't know the place, even though he did, he was the groom's cousin and the gifts were going to the groom's place.

She gave him a weary look then said,
"Okay, give me a minute, I need to do something first"

He waited exactly where she left him and she took way more than a minute but she came back, with her speedy walk and passed him to get to the car. He followed her and according to him, continued following her for 31 years.

In those years, they got married in a big church and had an even bigger reception. They got a small house then a bigger one after two kids, then Seth pooled together most of his savings and built Rebecca a house with a beautiful view . Just like he had promised when he proposed to her.

Now he's an old dude (you must understand, fifth floor is far for us youth) and such an unsmiling person, that it's hard to imagine the picture he gives me of his happy youth. I decide in that moment that I would coax a smile from him before the lunch was over.

As usual, I have a burger and fries on my plate and he has 'healthy stuff' and is complaining about how young people these days live on absurd things that don't pass off as food.

"My daughter lives on those things I saw you buy when we met, what do you call them?"

"KitKat? crisps?"

"Yes, kit kats, do you even check the expiry date on them, do you know what they're made from?"

"No and yes, even the most processed things started out as plants. Well, or animals, but in this case I think they're plants" I reply knowing very well I have never looked at the ingredients of a KitKat bar, (who does that?)

He changes the topic.
 "you know I don't know how to talk about myself for long lengths of time so if you have any more questions, let me answer them now"

"What's your biggest mistake to date?"

"Cheating on my wife"

"Bruh!" I say then catch myself " care to elaborate?"

"No, all I'll say about it is that peer pressure never ends, and the idea of a sponsor is overrated," he leans towards me "believe me when I say you don't want a 50 year old to buy you out. Noone can ever afford your mind, which is what you give them along with your body."

I take that in and ask why he agreed to be interviewed. Steering him to less deeper shores, because I can't swim.

"Because you're a young person who's pursuing a talent and I want to support that,"

Then he moves on to a rant about how we young people are constantly moving away from our talents, then we moved to talking about  hustling and how he used to be a messenger to hot shots with offices when he was young. Then, completely without trying we moved on to the hollow he felt when his family lost everything they owned to a fire that was started by an electric fault.
And even more than that, he lost a brother.

Just like that, within the day, he became an only child. Back then apparently, having few children was not the norm, but his parents were unconventional, they strived to be more western. That's why his parents named him Seth.

When his brother died, everyone's expectation fell on him. He became the wish carrier of the family, the one to uphold the family tradition and he did. Then he met Becca and decided to marry her even though she was from another tribe and was pursuing a career only known for flighty people.

"What was she?" I ask "a flight attendant?" I smile and wait for him to smile from my pun but he gives me a stare and shakes his head as if he can't believe he's talking to someone so unamusing.

He continues to tell me how after their fourth child he was done and she wanted five more.

"I should have given her what she wanted then" he says with a sigh, as if he's regretting more than he's saying. As if there's a piece of the puzzle missing and only he knows it.

They adopted another child but after that, he said no more kids. As they saw them getting older they decided to get a house in the middle of Nairobi to aid travels for his work and for them to also get a chance to live in the city.

Then one day he got a call, to get to the hospital, that his wife was involved in a car crash.

"She was traveling to come see me in Nairobi. And if she had reached the house, she would have found me with a slip of a girl. I was chasing skirts when she needed me."

He's quiet for a while. I'm sure I know what I'll see in his eyes when I look up. I'll see guilt for his past, a sadness I would want to wish away and a loneliness I can't help with even though we're sharing a table.

"How did we get here?" He asks referring to the conversation.

His golden voice gets a little grit as he says this. And I distract him by showing him a game I use to pass time when I'm people watching. He sees what I'm really doing and gives me a small smile. He finally smiled. I'm glad, even though that wasn't the kind of smile I was looking for.

Now sitting in a cafe who's name I don't know how to pronounce, I wonder how long ago this all happened. I wonder if he's close to his kids. And I wonder if he knew when he met her that from that moment, Rebecca would be the person who changed his life's tangent. The one who would put some meat in his bones, because apparently everyone who's in a relationship grows bigger and healthier. I wonder if he knew this person was going to turn his life upside down.




Photo by Mugoya Mokua.
(My favourite one yet)